CLICK HERE FOR BLOGGER TEMPLATES AND MYSPACE LAYOUTS »

Friday, October 10, 2008

My poor head!

Well its official… I’m sick. I hate admitting I’m sick, I always try to write it off as something minor that will go away if I ignore it. I couldn’t get away with that this time; I actually had to miss a ballet class!

But being sick has its upsides. I’m feeling a little woozy because of the medicine so I think that’s why I suddenly have the courage to share with you some of my creative writing. I hope you like it, but keep in mind I’m not very good at this sort of thing!




Lydia stood quietly for a moment in the primeval grove. The night sky was scarcely visible though the branches of the trees that surrounded her and the cool wind whipped at her jacket. This was not the first time she came here, back to the place where it happened, but tonight was different. She was finally going back.

Taking a deep breath she pressed onward, going deeper into the foreboding darkness. Leafs and twigs crunched under her bare feet but she hardly noticed, she was on a mission and nothing could deter her. She passed over a bubbling creek and under fallen trees, following the narrow trail she had walked so many times before.

Finally she saw it, a small pool of water nestled between the roots of a giant oak tree. Any other person would have dismissed as a puddle but Lydia slowly walked towards it and knelt down beside it. The water took on a faint glow as she peered over its edge and a warm gust of wind hit her face. It was starting.

5 Delightful Musings:

Bella said...

thats really good! new blog: says its against the terms and conditions, but its not. trust me. they said someone was spamming me. joy. keep writing, and ill keep reading! comment away

Judi said...

I'm sorry you're sick..that sucks...but, i am glad you wrote thanks to that medicine...:D I love it...it was awesome...you have to write more...please???
-Judi

cuileann said...

Oh, feel better soon!

It's definitely intriguing; I like it. I noticed a few things that I think could be better:
- "This was not the first time she came here" - I'd change that to "had come here."
- "back to the place where it happened" - You use "back" in the next sentence in what seems to be a different sense. It's a little confusing, because it sounds at first like you're saying that she's been back to this place before, but this time she's finally going back...ya know? So maybe take out the first "back"?
- Leaves, not leafs
- The comma between "noticed" and "she was on a mission" should be a period or a semicolon, because it's separating two independent clauses.

Sorry, that's a lot of corrections! - I have an inner copy editor demon. But as I said, it's very intriguing, and makes for a vivid picture in my head. Is it part of something bigger that you've written, or does it float on its own?

The_Ballerina said...

Thanks cuileann! I'm no writer, and don't pretend to be, I was just giving it a try! lol and the leaf/leaves thing cracked me up! I must have been feeling really woozy! lol

The_Ballerina said...

oh! And I made it up on the spot... lol if that explains anything